Funny Sayings
Read our collection of funny sayings. Funny but inspirational, ones that will bring a smile to your face, but ones that do contain wisdom in their words. We hope you enjoy them."We're to blessed to be depressed."
"Failure is the mother of success."
"Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive."
"Snowflakes are some of nature's most fragile things,
but just look what happens when they stick together."
"Everyone gets butterflies - the trick is getting them to fly in formation."
"Change is inevitable except from a vending machine."
"Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends."
"You don't want everything, think about it where would you put it?"
"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return.
It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
Arthur C. Clarke
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
Phyllis Diller
"A laugh is a smile that bursts."
Mary H. Waldrip
"A comedian does funny things.
A good comedian does things funny."
Buster Keaton
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain
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more inspirational funny sayings and quotes:
"So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!" Russel H. Conwell
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." Mae West
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter." John Gotti
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." Robert Frost
“If you pay with peanuts, expect to get monkeys.” Proverb
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been." Mark Twain
"Scientists have proven that it's impossible to long-jump 30 feet, but I don't listen to that kind of talk. Thoughts like that have a way of sinking into your feet." Carl Lewis
“He who builds according to everyone’s advice will have a crooked house.” Proverb
"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work." Pearl Bailey
"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome." Booker T. Washington
"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." Henry Kissinger
"There's something about death that is comforting. The thought that you could die tomorrow frees you to appreciate life now." Angelina Jolie
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." Oscar Wilde
“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.” Joseph Addison
“If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.” Abigail Van Buren
"A stumble may prevent a fall.” Proverb
“If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.” Abigail Van Buren
"If you run after luck, you will spoil many pairs of shoes.” Russian Proverb
"I have never seen a monument erected to a pessimist.” Paul Harvey
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